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Monday, January 26, 2004

I went to the book chat on "Nickel and Dimed" at the library today. It was pretty interesting - many different views represented. One guy had me listening in astonishment as he actually proposed the solution to poverty in this country is to do away with minimum wage laws, child labor laws, and taxes. ??????

I have been on both sides of this - living off under $ 900 take home a month with three people, in a $ 525 appartment, with no health insurance, and $ 25 per week to spend on groceries after car insurance, utilities, and the urgent care visits for my asthmatic son, to our much more comfortable existence now. Being "the working poor" isn't a whole lot of fun.

I don't think there are any easy answers, and I don't agree with all of the premises in the book, but whatever answers there are, I don't think they include taking away the laws that keep children from losing their childhood and any possibility of making a better life than their parents through eduction.
That just got me so ticked. Sometimes I wonder what planet people are from.




Next on the reading list: "Affluenza". Should be an interesting contrast to "Nickel and Dimed."

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 10:45 PM

Friday, January 23, 2004

Let me tell you a story from long, long ago.....

Once, there lived a girl in Germany whose family was slowly falling apart. Mom and Dad were in the "silent treatment" phase of their splitting up, sister was mostly in fighting mode, and so home was not that fun a place to be. Now this girl had an idea that she would like to go somewhere totally else for a year - the US, to be specific, and to that end had delivered newspaper every week for two years. After working her way into the AFS program, she was then told that, sadly, due to the energy crisis in America, there were far less families for exchange students available that year. Undaunted, said damsel remembered that she was indeed the member of a square dance club, and with that obvious connection to American culture it shouldn't be that hard to drum up a family, should it? She stuck her finger into a guide to US square dance clubs at random, and wrote to nine clubs located all over the United States as to whether they had anyone who would like to host a German exchange student for a year. Within a month, she had three affirmative replies - one from a very nice couple in their early 80's in Oregon, one from a man in his 50's living alone with his 20-something son in Indiana, and one from a couple named Bob and Wanda living in Napa, California. And this story is really about them.

Bob and Wanda were middle-aged, with both their daughters grown and out of the house. Why they wanted to welcome another teenager, I do not know. But they decided to make me part of their home for a year. Maybe it is because caring is a way of life for them.

And so one summer day in chilly San Francisco, they picked up this girl with inadequate conversational English skills. They are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I all of a sudden was part of a close-knit family. Bob and Wanda had been married for over 25 years, and had a very close, loving, marriage, still romantic, still being able to giggle like teenagers - yet a marriage strong and deep and mature. Their daughters were in contact virtually every day, and everyone in that family genuinely loved and cared for each other. They weren't church going people, but God was a part of their lives. And now they cared for me - correcting my English, teaching me how to shave my body hair, how to keep my room clean, that hanging out in a string bikini in the living room was not a good idea because it would keep Bob out of the house until I had covered up some. Being quite strict parents, they introduced me to a bunch of rules - only a couple nights out of the house, home by 10, no boys in the bedroom. That was a whole new world for me - at home, I could do whatever I wanted to. But see, the rules meant that someone cared about what I was doing, and so to me, the rules were good. I have a hard time getting words around how much of an impact it had on me to be part of a family the way family should be.

They became my biggest cheerleaders - always telling me how proud they were of me, being there for school performances, encouraging me to sing. I started calling them Mom and Dad. I cried buckets when I had to leave.

More than twenty years later, I still call them Mom and Dad. I sang at their 50th wedding anniversary. They have remained part of the fabric of my life. They still tell me they are proud of me. And I love them.
Last year, we made their Christmas letter. I cried, because when you get included in the Christmas letter, you are family. And being part of their family has made my life a lot richer.



Bob and Wanda with my kids.

posted by Birgit
at 2:04 PM

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

"The worst for some reason were the Visible Christians - like the 10-person table, all jolly and sanctified after Sunday night service, who run me endlessly and then leave me $ 1 (tip) on a $ 92 bill. Or the guy with the crucifixion t-shirt (Someone To Look Up To) who complains that his baked potato is too hard and his iced tea too icy (I cheerfully fix both) and leaves no tip at all. As a general rule, people wearing crosses or WWJD buttons look at us disapprovingly no matter what we do, as if they were confusing waitressing with Mary Magdalene's original profession. "

From "Nickel and Dimed - On (Not) Getting by in America" by Barbara Ehrenreich.

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 11:21 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Abigail was the wife of a wealthy, surly, mean, and stupid man - Nabal, the fool. I am sure he was proud of his trophy wife - Abigail is described as intelligent and beautiful.

Enter David.

He had been up in the desert, and with his men he had watched over Nabal's flock and shepherds, so that nothing bad had happened to them. Now it was sheep shearing season, a festive time, and David thought it would be a good time to remind Nabal of what he had done for him. So he sent some of his warriors to Nabal. "Long life and good health to you, Nabal! If you ask your workers, they will tell you how we took care of them and yours. Now, as you are having all kinds of good things prepared already, would you please share some of them with us?" Nabal responded with his usual graciousness, "Who is this David? And why should I give any of my hard-earned goods to you guys - how do I even know who you are? You could just be run-away servants out for an easy buck." And they returned to David empty handed.

David was livid. And vowed to take the life of every last male in Nabal's camp. He and his men strapped on their swords, and headed towards Carmel.

Meanwhile back in Carmel....

One of the shepherds runs to Abigail. "You have GOT to do something. There was this man, David, who watched over us while we were up in the desert. He sent some of his men down, and instead of rewarding him for his behavior towards us, your husband hurled insults at him. And you know how Nabal is, when he gets like this, no one can talk to him. "

What is Abigail going to do? If she went to some of our churches for advice today, the counsel would be "Submit. If he makes a bad decision, you have to just live with it. You can give him your imput, but in the end, it is his decision."

But Abigail doesn't even think. She knows her husband well. And she knows that offending an important man is not good policy. No, she doesn't know that that man is already heading down the mountain and that her life may be in danger. But she knows what Nabal did was a capitally bad idea.

So she doesn't lose any time. She gathers up all the meat, bread, and wine she can get her hands on, loads the mass-quantities of food onto donkeys, and heads on up towards David's camp. Half way up, she runs into David, and falls down. "I am so sorry. My husband is Nabal, the fool, and folly goes with him. I did not see your men, or this would not have happened. I know you are a man of God, and God has great plans for you. Let no wrongdoing be found in you. He is holding you in his hand, and your enemies will be overthrown, though they are pursuing you now. And when you are the leader of Israel, and all that God has planned for you has come to pass, you will not want needless bloodshed on your hands. " She is intelligent indeed.

David sees and hears this beautiful woman, and is moved by her. "Bless your good judgment - and thank you for saving me from shedding innocent blood and getting my revenge. Go home in peace. "

Abigail returns home empty-handed by light-hearted. She doesn't even attempt to talk to Nabal that day, because he is so drunk he doesn't know up from down. The next day, when she tells him what happened and how close he came to losing his life, he has a stroke - from anger at her going against his wishes or fear of what could have happened, who knows. And ten days later, the Lord strikes Nabal, and he dies.

When David hears that, he remembers the beautiful, bright woman who was Nabal's wife. And He knows the treasure he has found, and he asks her to be his wife.



I love the story of Abigail.

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 3:23 PM

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

According to the paper today, the "must-see" TV shows for tonight are: a)" The Apprentice" b) "The Simple Life" and c) "The Bachelorette"

Now according to the little I know about these shows, the first one involves Donald Trump firing aspiring business men, the second one a couple of at this point fairly useless rich girls trying to live in the country, and the third one some woman kissing her way through a bunch of guys to find the love of her life.

And that is the "creme de la creme" of the 60-something TV stations tonight? Isn't there something the paper might consider worth watching that doesn't involve watching real people behaving badly and/or trying to outmaneuver one another?

I am really not thrilled that reality TV has so taken over the viewing schedule, taking slots that otherwise might we filled with shows that are funny/ warm/good storytelling/informational/quality/imaginative (or just another stupid sitcom, which I guess is more likely....)

At this point, we mostly watch Netflix :-)

Recent rentals: Disc 2 and 3 of Season 2 of Babylon 5; Bruce Almighty; Sea Biscuit - all of which I really enjoyed (I was surprised by liking Bruce Almighty - I usually don't like Jim Carrey as an actor all that much and I was sort of apprehensive about the way the subject matter would be treated. But I really thought it made some good points wrapped up in an entertaining package.)

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 9:56 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Rudeness seems to be proliferating. We went to two big-ticket concerts last year - and at both of them we ended up with people directly in front or behind us that insisted on talking loudly the entire show. The year end summary by a reviewer in our paper listed "noisy Boiseans" as one of the most negative trents of the year, noting that several acts actually had to tell people to hush up during their performance.
I just went to see the Lord of the Rings again on Friday, and same thing - some blabbermouthes behind us thinking that only they needed to enjoy their time there....
Is it really too much to ask that when I pay $ 40 for a concert ticket I would actually like to hear the show?? Why can't people just stuff a sock in it.....

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 2:52 PM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Strategic Friendships Part II

The Ragamuffin Minister brought up a good point in a comment - it is hard to be agenda-less. We do want for people to become part of the kingdom.
Let me say that I am not opposed to strategy and agenda in some sense. Every day I have an agenda - some things I need to do and accomplish. I also don't think evangelism has to be random, spur-of-the-moment ONLY.

Example - our friend Dave (Dave, if you are reading this, hope you don't mind). Randall met Dave at work, and liked him a lot. They connected on a lot of levels. Dave was not a believer. Randall is.

We (Randall and I) talked about how we could present Jesus to Dave. How do we get from point A to point B. With Jesus drawing Dave, there was a progression - from talking, to reading things together, to him becoming part of our homegroup. Our "evangelism" with him was not random, not just "grabbing opportunities", but "creating opportunities". But the friendship was not a means to an end. If Dave would have said no, and changed the topic, we would still have been friends. The friendship was genuine.

Let's look at this another way - what would you think about a guy engaged in "dating evangelism" - meet a girl, get her emotionally involved, so he can share the gospel? Most people would not consider that acceptable - so why do we think messing with someone's emotions in a friendship setting is?

Women's friendships tend to be more than casual or activity orientated relationships. When I become friends with someone, they become part of the fabric of my heart. If someone befriends me, and I engage into that relationship, only to find out a while later that the friendship was just a tool to get something from me or get me to do something, that hurts.

Wanting something good for your friend is a good thing. Using friendship as a tool isn't. Let's be careful with other people's hearts.

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 5:23 PM

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Can I just say that Greek class at 7 in the morning twice a week in the summer is wayyyyy different from Greek class in the winter in the dark at 14 degrees with iced up roads.....I am having severe motivational problems getting out of bed :-)

We are about half way done with the book - we are actually translating scripture now, so that is really fun! But it is beyond me why you need about 200 forms of any given verb that basically all say the same thing, just in different tenses, genders, singular or plurals.....do we really need the active indicative second aorist third person plural, LOL????

posted by Birgit
at 5:36 PM

Friday, January 02, 2004

God bless thy year,
Thy coming in, thy going out,
Thy rest, thy travelling about,
The rough, the smooth,
The bright, the dear;
God bless thy year.

Old English Blessing

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 3:09 PM

Still snowy - Randall and the boys went skiing yesterday, and Kira and I went sledding on the golf course and built a giant snowman. It is nice to have 4 seasons again after years of the Bay Area's "warm season" and "slightly cooler season" .

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 1:11 PM

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Strategic Friendships

Someone in our circle told my husband that he didn't have time for anything but strategic friendships. By that he meant a friendship with the goal of leading the person to Christ.

I instantaneously hated that term.

I have known Gina for about 7 years now, and she is one of my closest friends. Would I love to see here become a believer? Without a doubt. But I am her friend because I love her, care for her, and enjoy her. There is no ulterior motive.

I guess I took an instant dislike to the term because it brought to mind a certain person. I was fairly new in town, and she invited me to tea. I was excited - our kids went to school together, I liked her, I was hoping that this was the beginning of a new friendship. After 15 minutes of talking, she launched into - an Amway presentation. She had lured me there with a certain goal. When I made it clear I wasn't interested, the relationship was dropped. I will never forget the way that felt - being part of someone's agenda, being befriended for a reason that had not a whole lot to do with them liking me or caring for me.
And I have been encouraged by pastors over the years to do something similar - befriend someone for the sole reason of bringing them to Christ - friendship with an agenda. Now the background is different from Amway because there is concern for the person in that. It is not a selfish thing (well, it can be, I have definitely encountered the "notch in my belt" mentality, but it doesn't have to be). But people would still end up with the same feelings if they found out that there was a target to that friendship. I wonder how many people I have hurt over the years - especially in my teens, in that end-time focussed church, I was obnoxious. I was so sure that Jesus was coming soon, that all that mattered was getting people "saved". It wasn't selfish - but neither was it good.

I want real relationships, real friendships. No agenda.

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 11:03 AM