Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Strategic Friendships Part II

The Ragamuffin Minister brought up a good point in a comment - it is hard to be agenda-less. We do want for people to become part of the kingdom.
Let me say that I am not opposed to strategy and agenda in some sense. Every day I have an agenda - some things I need to do and accomplish. I also don't think evangelism has to be random, spur-of-the-moment ONLY.

Example - our friend Dave (Dave, if you are reading this, hope you don't mind). Randall met Dave at work, and liked him a lot. They connected on a lot of levels. Dave was not a believer. Randall is.

We (Randall and I) talked about how we could present Jesus to Dave. How do we get from point A to point B. With Jesus drawing Dave, there was a progression - from talking, to reading things together, to him becoming part of our homegroup. Our "evangelism" with him was not random, not just "grabbing opportunities", but "creating opportunities". But the friendship was not a means to an end. If Dave would have said no, and changed the topic, we would still have been friends. The friendship was genuine.

Let's look at this another way - what would you think about a guy engaged in "dating evangelism" - meet a girl, get her emotionally involved, so he can share the gospel? Most people would not consider that acceptable - so why do we think messing with someone's emotions in a friendship setting is?

Women's friendships tend to be more than casual or activity orientated relationships. When I become friends with someone, they become part of the fabric of my heart. If someone befriends me, and I engage into that relationship, only to find out a while later that the friendship was just a tool to get something from me or get me to do something, that hurts.

Wanting something good for your friend is a good thing. Using friendship as a tool isn't. Let's be careful with other people's hearts.

posted by Birgit
0 comments at 5:23 PM