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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

"I'm putting all my eggs in one basket
I'm betting everything I got on you.
I'm giving all my love to one baby
Lord help me if my baby don't come through.."

One of my favorite Ella Fitzgerald songs, which I was singing loudly while doing the dishes last night. Sometimes I get these moments of panic, just for a second - I am putting all my eggs in one basket, with this one God. What if the whole thing isn't true? Even "Lord help me" becomes ironic in that case...

Usually that happens when I see these horrid things happening, and all of a sudden there is this stab of fear - what if this world is really all there is? It doesn't usually last very long - God's presence and interaction has been too real in my life too many times. And really, even if it bizarrely should turn out it wasn't true, I don't think I would regret having followed this God - because I like the way loving him has changed me, the person I am now as opposed to the person I was before I fell in love with him...
But really, I don't think I would have stayed in love with him this long if the relationship was entirely one-sided... He is...

posted by Birgit
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