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Friday, August 29, 2003

SChool is starting again - this is going to be a tough year, I think. At least Joshua is taking two classes at the local Coop, so I don't have to do everything. Still, what there is is enough. I am tired and cranky today.

I still am not sure about being at this big church. I very much like some of the people, and it would be hard to go anywhere else. But I still feel like I am drifting around the periphery. I do enjoy doing worship with the 2 and 3 year olds - they are so precious. Every Sunday is different - sometimes they are like a sack of fleas - very hard to contain! Other Sundays they seem to be mesmerized. And you can see some of them "get" it - and that is really a great thing!

I still am longing for real relationships. What can I do to get that back? I still miss our old church so much. Is any place going to feel like home that much again?
I don't know. I was reading "The education of Little Tree" (yes, I know it isn't a true story) but the author talked about how you can't really love something unless you know it, understand it. At SJ Vineyard, I felt that - we have been there since the church was a baby, and know just about everyone in it, understand and share the vision. If we didn't show up on Sunday, people missed us. Here, if I don't show up on Sunday, no one really knows (well, other than the preschool worship team, LOL).

posted by Birgit
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